I’m not sure why I waited so long to write this post. I mean I named the whole blog after this title, but here we are finally getting around to explaining why I decided to name my blog Forged by Failure. I want everyone to think about where they are today. Think hard about each step, each turn, each obstacle that inevitably led you to where you’re currently at. Have you got a clear picture? Ok, now think about some of the failures you’ve faced in this journey. Think about the times you came up short. Think about the moments you were pushed to the verge of quitting. Each failure in your journey is a milestone moment that forced you to make a choice and that choice shaped you into becoming who you are today. Whether in that moment of failure you chose to forge on or try something new, that moment became a milestone.
Ok, so that might have been a lot to think about right now, and you might be thinking what am I talking about. Let’s start from the beginning shall we. I’m going to tell you a story, and by the end you will understand how I became who I am today. You ready? This story starts from very early on in my life. Still unable to talk and weak in the knees, I started my journey of resilience and grit, facing my failures head on. I was just 9 months old and already I knew that failure was part of the journey as I continued to try to put one foot in front of the other to make it across the room. Constantly falling and picking myself back up, each failure making me more determined to figure it out and make it happen. Imagine if after the first time I fell I decided it was too hard and quit? Imagine if as a 9 month old I saw failure as an end result instead of part of the process, I’d still be crawling around looking up at everyone else as they walked by.
As my journey in failure continued I found myself faced with another opportunity to shape myself. I was outside climbing a tree in my backyard. I really wanted to pick the pine cones off this one tree that stood in our yard. Not really sure why? But none-the-less here I was toward the top of this tree hanging off branches reaching for pine cones to throw down to the ground. I was hanging when all of a sudden, snap, the branch I was hanging on broke and I crashed to the earth. I bounced a couple times then ran into the house screaming (obviously a little scared). My mom checked me out and I calmed down and she sent me back outside to play. I looked back at the tree and decided I would give it another go. So, back up into the tree I went. A few minutes passed and snap, tree branch broke and back to earth I fell.
Again I went screaming into the house. I don’t remember what my mom told me or how she reacted to me falling out of the tree for a second time, but I do remember that I went back outside after calming down. Then once again I climbed that tree. This time without falling and finally picked the pine cones for my collection. Which I never saw again after that day. Some of you may be reading this part and think he’s just not very bright is he. Well, that may be the case, but I also learned that day that in order to achieve the things we want in this world we must face our fears. I’m not sure why I wanted those pine cones, but I knew I wanted them. I also knew that there was a chance along my journey I could fall and potentially be hurt. But I also didn’t let the fear of falling, the fear of pain or failure stop me from pursuing what I wanted. I believe this is the day that I developed my stubborn resolve to work for what I want. I’m sure had my mom stopped me from playing or kept me from ever climbing again because I fell, I may not be who I am today. I was forged by this moment and I’m thankful for my failure, and for not breaking any bones in the process. That was good too.
My life moved on and I continued to pursue athletic endeavors, I pushed myself to become the best athlete I could. I dreamed of being a professional athlete. Obviously I was going to play in the NBA. For those of you who don’t know me, I’m 5’10” and while I can jump a little and shoot a little, the NBA for people under 5’10” is not likely. You probably can’t name 10 people under 5’10” to play in the NBA. Anyway, my freshman year I had just finished basketball season and baseball season was getting ready to start. We had just completed tryouts and I was set to be on the JV team as a freshman. But I wanted to play basketball too, so I walked up to the coach and asked him if I could play AAU tournaments on the weekend as long as they didn’t interfere with my baseball schedule. I told him I would never miss a game or practice and only play when we didn’t have something for baseball.
He looked me square in the eyes and told me no. I begged and pleaded with him, but eventually gave up, having failed at persuading him to see it my way. I went home that night and told my parents I wanted to quit baseball. Claiming the baseball coach didn’t understand I could do both, and that I was going to be a basketball player anyway. My mom and dad talked to me and eventually I failed to persuade them as well. I reluctantly returned to baseball the next week knowing that I wouldn’t be able to play AAU basketball and committed myself to playing baseball. A week later I was moved up to Varsity and by the time the season started I was the starting right fielder. I eventually was a four year letter winner, a two time All Conference and District selection and a Division 1 baseball player (where I was a 1st team Freshman All American).
Had I not failed at negotiating playing AAU with my coach and quitting baseball all together with my parents I may be a completely different person today. My failure led to me becoming a better baseball player and playing for my High School coach Stephen Gussler made me a better man. It was my greatest failure and without a doubt had the biggest impact on my future success. I’m so thankful for my parents encouraging me to stick it out and Coach Gussler telling me no, still today I carry his teachings and passion with me and try to give it to the kids I work with.
In college I failed again. First I failed in class then I failed on the field. After being an All American I never really found my stride quite the same. I put most of that failure on the fact that I didn’t work as hard as I did my freshman year. But my greatest failure came when I was benched as a senior halfway through the year. I had started over 170 some games and found myself riding the bench. This was not a place I was used to being, it was hard for me to be there as I can’t remember a time I had ever not played. Part of me wanted to quit and walk away, part of me didn’t want to face my teammates or parents or anyone. I was crushed and the worst part is I never truly understood why.
But I didn’t quit, I didn’t walk away. I kept showing up, I did what was asked of me. I cheered loud and played hard when I got opportunities. Then in the conference tournament I was given a chance to start again. I finished up that last two games of my college career as the starting short stop. I also batted .750 going 6 for 8 in the final two games. We lost and my career ended, but I didn’t let adversity break me, I didn’t let bad times stop me from pushing forward. Then in the end I found a way to overcome everything and finish strong.
More recently I found myself as a coach for Pickerington Central softball. I joined a staff during great turmoil in the program and together the head coach and I righted the ship and began to produce great success. In two years we accomplish a District Runner-up and a Conference Championship. Not to mention a pretty solid win percentage, only to find ourselves out of a job after two seasons. This was a pretty harsh blow given the fact that I felt we were making great strides to impacting this team and we were close to being truly special. But, yet again I found myself on the failure train. But this failure led me down a new path and I’m not sure I would have ended up where I am now without it.
I’m currently co-head coach of a great team called the Firecrackers. We have an amazing group of young women who are motivated to become the best versions of themselves. They have also become a family in a short period of time buying into the culture that I truly believe in and making my departure from Central less painful. So, that’s where I am today. Coaching young athletes as a strength coach and softball coach, using my lessons and failures to inspire and prepare them for the future that they will eventually face. All the while using my failures to grow and change, each day becoming something more.
As you move on through life I hope you remember that we are all forged by our failures. Each failure we face presents us with a choice. Do I continue to fight to accomplish that which I failed at or do I choose a different direction. The hard truth is anything you truly love or have passion for you will fail at. The reason for that is when we are passionate and love something we put ourselves out there further than we would otherwise. We try new ways of doing things, we challenge ourselves with more difficult opponents, we test our abilities. Failure provides us with the test that we must pass in order to move on. We need to decide whether something truly matters to us. If what we fail at matters we will double down and push on, but if it doesn’t we’ll quit and choose a new path. Either way, that failure is driving our future self. My hope is that we choose to face our failures, that we embrace each moment we come up short and become stronger for it. Either way remember that each failure is just a moment on the path to who we eventually become. We are all Forged by Failure.
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