I missed my Friday blog post for the first time yesterday since the beginning of the New Year. I had a pretty hectic week that threw my usual routine out of whack and forced me into some slightly less comfortable territory. By the time my day ended Friday and I sat down in front of my computer to write this post, I didn’t really know where to begin. My wife was sitting with me on the couch and we were searching for a show to watch, when I started to think. What is more important to me; putting out a blog post every Friday or the quality of writing I produce. It was a fitting thought, since earlier that day I made a Tweet about living your standard and owning it. Now I was confronted with hurrying through a blog post just to get it out on time, or being patient and trying to write something worth reading. Set a standard for who you are and how you operate and don’t bend or break that standard for anyone or anything.
I’m sure some of you read that last sentence and thought, that sounds a little extreme. I’m not saying there’s no room for failure or falling short. Anyone who knows me knows that I believe we must fail to grow. What I mean is, set a standard that is what you’re striving to be all the time in all situations, then when you fall short of that standard, don’t make excuses or point fingers as to why you fell short or failed, own it. Nobody in this world is perfect, but that doesn’t mean we can’t have high standards or push ourselves to be as close to humanly perfect as possible.
To be honest with everyone reading this, I’ve fallen short of my business standard lately. I have consistently let down a client of mine. Some of the things that have occurred were out of my control, some of them were on me, but I own all of it. Just the other day I failed this person and they were kind enough to tell me that it was ok. While I appreciate their forgiveness and patience with my situation, it’s not ok. I have a standard, I believe I must deliver on the promise of elite training, coaching, teaching, etc. I failed this person, I told them as much, because it’s ok to fail, but it’s not ok to blame others for your failure.
I love the idea of setting standards to live life by. There are work standards, school standards, relationship standards, team standards, and so much more. Set standards for your life and live those standards. Don’t break those standards because they’re hard, or because it’s “just this once”, live them. Again, it’s ok if you’re not perfect all the time, but how you handle those moments matter. Think about relationships for a moment. Who has had a relationship or friend in a relationship where their partner cheated on them? I’m a person who believes that a romantic relationship, when it’s defined as such, is two people no more. I’m also a person that believes if you cheat we’re done. No second chances kind of guy. That’s my standard. If I decide all of a sudden to forgive a person who breaks that standard and continue in a relationship, I’m now saying my standard is different. I’m opening up the door for future cheating and then wondering why I have such a toxic relationship.
If I’m a coach and I have a standard of being on time for everything. I build a team that shows up to everything fifteen minutes early. Nobody is ever late. Then I have some stuff come up in my life and I start to arrive to practice a little later each day. Soon, I’m the last person to arrive at practice and games. Then a few weeks go by and I wonder why half my team isn’t there when I show up to practice and they come rolling in ten minutes late. I’ve not lived my own standard and those I was chosen to lead see that. The standards we choose to live shape our life. They dictate how we handle situations and who we are in different settings.
What I’m trying to say is the standards we set for ourselves make us who we are. Be on time, get good grades, work hard at practice, be kind. There are standards for everything we do and each dictates how we approach each task in front of us. With that being said, set high standards. Don’t settle for less from yourself and those around you. Hold people to the standards you have set and pursue perfection within those standards every day. We may not always be perfect in our standards, but that’s ok. When you fail to meet a standard you have set or that has been set for you, don’t blame others or make excuses, own it and proclaim, “I will do better next time.”
None of us is perfect and there is going to be times when we fail to meet our standards. The key to surviving those moments is to not make excuses for why you failed to live your standard. We must acknowledge our shortcoming and attempt to be better next time. When we find excuses for not meeting a standard like, “the test didn’t follow the study guide,” “I got stuck in traffic, that’s why I’m late,” or “I know he cheated on me, but he said it didn’t mean anything and he won’t do it again.” When we allow excuses and place blame things other than ourselves, we’re making it seem like our standards are out of our control. But the truth is, we can always study more (if grades truly matter), we can leave 5 minutes earlier (if being on time is a thing), and we have the choice to be loved wholeheartedly (not when convenient for our partner).
Set strong, high standards for yourself. Ultimately the standards we set for ourself dictate the person we become. The higher the standard of excellence the greater the odds of us one day being great. We can’t become great with low standards and expectations. Choose standards that you know are right, that challenge you, that stretch you constantly and live those standards. Don’t just use them when they’re convenient, the true testament to who we are is the standards we live when it’s difficult. Can you stand up to someone bullying a person when your peers are watching? Can you do the right thing when everyone else is telling you to do the opposite? Are you consistent with who you are? Be an outlier, not just another sheep in the herd. Be proud of the high standards you’ve set for yourself and live them every day. Take your failures and shortcomings and grow, and always strive to be better. Live on the edge of greatness and keep searching for that final step to help lift you to the summit of greatness.
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